Memories Light the Corners

I began collecting Christmas decorations when I was first married and Tina was a baby.  A "Christmas Around the World Party" that a friend had in her home, a friend that I can't remember now, introduced me to all the different ways to celebrate the birth of Jesus.  Of course Mom always had a wonderfully festive house and tamales were provided by some relative or another, usually either Aunt Sally or Aunt Genny.

My first born with her bright teal blue eyes, all dressed up in her fluffy pink coat and hat was there to let me view the holidays through a child's eyes.  So excited over the Christmas tree, the presents wrapped under the tree and all of the wreaths and ribbons and lights; she was my best girl helping with all the preparations for parties and gatherings with friends and family.  It's incredible how the two of us just kinda hung out together, but as I look back, I realize that I was just a young girl raising a very young girl and how those moments together were so joyful and precious.

There were difficult times back then too.  "You and Me Against the World" is the song that brings those memories back along with the feeling of gratefulness for having my Tina, the world's Bene, in my life.

The Joy of my Christmas

As I open the first box, I am at first a little apprehensive with the thought of getting out these same, old, dusty remembrances of Christmases past that for so many years brought stress and tears, and for others brought overwhelming joy.  I notice first that everything is packed away so nicely and carefully, a far cry from the years of small children, demanding husbands and my desire to just get the stuff out of my sight. The person that lovingly stored these items obviously was so at peace with the season and with the treasures that she was protecting.

With each little package wrapped in tissue paper, a memory comes to me.  I open a tiny angel made out of plaster which one of my girls painted in a light, faint blue with an orange face.  I smile as I remember days of kids at the kitchen table engrossed in their Christmas projects.  Another tissue package reveals an angel made of paper, ribbon, and a wooden ball for the head and I recall Annie beginning her tradition of hand made personalized ornaments for each year that passed.  I open up a small ceramic bell and William's face comes into my head as my recollection of his 7 year-old face smiling as I opened it up all those 30 some years ago.  And oh, another small ceramic bell...is this the one(?) oh well, one of these bells is Will's present to me.

And then last night my daughter says to me..."Well Mom, that's the gift of Papa.  He loves people for who they are, not for what they appear to be."  And there is another Christmas memory for me...not even in a material item that I place on our small tree in the living room...but from the mouth of my youngest, my Annie.

Names and Creativity

So yesterday was such an uncreative day for me.  I posted in this journal hoping to get myself into the "work" mode with my kitty abstract that is now Stupid Cool Squares.  I studied it for a long time to no avail, so pulled out Complementary Flowers and Fresh & Free to just add a couple touches that I have been meaning to do.  So maybe they're completely done now, anyway I'm hanging them in the house and am considering them done...well, maybe, smiling.  

 Fresh & Free

Complementary Flowers

I really don't like the names of these paintings, so am thinking "Warmly Fresh" and "Cooling Complements"...or more spiritual names like "Trending Warm" and "Calming Cool"...yeah, maybe the last two.  

So finished these yesterday and "Trending Warm" hangs in the living room frameless but needs a frame as it is not a wrap around canvas.  I am finding a place for "Calming Cool" today which means I must rearrange and dislodge some that are hanging now which is good because there are a few that need to come down and go away.

Today, creativity lives!  Jack and I took a long bike ride yesterday and discovered a whole new bike trail accessible to us.  We were gone for a couple hours and so I slept really well and I'm back.  Listening to CSN&Y about life, nature and the whales and "looking for me."  That's a good name for a painting I think.

Getting to Work

Oh well...this is what I did to the  kitty painting.  It totally got cool all over and the kitty disappeared and I don't even like the color it is now and the square shapes are stupid.  At one point I liked this painting but always felt it was a wimpy composition which could have been helped with complementing color; however now that my original composition is gone, I need to reset and plan this painting again.

There's a pumpkin color in there, maybe I should just draw a giant pumpkin on this canvas and go from there!  Too funny...and I really don't know why I am so uninspired today.  Ok, so am not going to wait for inspiration...am just going to get to work!

Contrast, Value, Wimpy Washes and Stuff

So...had "Independent Cats" in the family room for about a week now and it is still wimpy washes and not a strong statement so this A.M. did another wash with Nickel Azo Gold.  I applied it thick and then after it dried for a bit, I did another layer with a combination of the Nickel Azo and Bronze.  I am loving the dark red places but I want to have more value changes as well as majority of colors warm, maybe 10% cool.

It still isn't working, so am writing to talk myself into washing it with a buff pigment in an effort to get some opaqueness into it along with lightening parts for more contrast.   What that will do is to either enhance the underneath layers and then I can continue the piece, or it will wipe out so much of what I have done to a place where I can kind of begin again...still to be the story of independent cats.

Grateful?

Oh my goodness how the time flies.  Here it is already November 20th, Thanksgiving on Thursday, my 63rd.

Worked a bit on Fresh and Easy, and am thinking it is done...maybe.   The flower in the front still bugs me.

I am desiring my perspective be from a distance and not so in the face.  My composition is based on how the photo was shot (except for the colors) instead of varying it so that it makes sense in the painting.  I do not as a painter wish to be so loyal to the photo.  I already have the photo, what I am creating now is the story of flowers in the garden.

So I'm grateful, I am grateful for so many things.  But truthfully, right now I am just mad at this painting and how it could have been so much better and am really not in a happily grateful state of mind.

Well, it's late and I need sleep.  I'll be grateful tomorrow when I am thinking of a better name of this piece.  What was I thinkin' with Fresh and Easy???

Realizing Joy

Found my joy today listening to music, creating and catching up with things that are important to me.

Listening to The Hungry Years and remembering how my mom loved this song and so much wanted to return to the years when her and my dad were not the millionaires that they became.  Life was simpler and it was easier to have each other, depend on that and appreciate the important things.  Later when the success came and the money was there, our whole family lost the importance of the love that we had for each other. "Everything we wanted was everything we had."

Now Dad's gone, Mom is too though just miles away.

My joy is about my daughters.  When they walk into the room, they take my breath away.

My joy is here with my husband.  His hugs, his smile; I live for those.

My joy happens with my grandkids, in their laughter and their smiles.

Just sayin'...

TWO NEW PAINTINGS;

The first was "Complimentary Flowers" and I have shown it however was never really happy with it.  Finally I took it down from the wall and changed the color.  It was about 1/2 cool, 1/2 warm before and now it is predominantly cool with about 20% warm and now I really am enjoying it.

The second was "Never Been to Me" or "Sister Golden Hair", remember that???  So now it's becoming an abstract.  This image doesn't show the contrast very well and possibly I need more contrast on the original painting but not today.  Maybe tomorrow.  

Right now, going off to my alone space to meditate...and to breathe.

Summer Yosemite View

Here's Yosemite View which I did this past Summer.  Next is the painting revised yesterday.

So, I've changed the color and the composition.  I like the composition so much more .  And I think it got to cooler colors because I was referencing some Kondos paintings as I was re-doing this piece.  I'm leaving it alone for a while to determine how I feel about it as time passes.  I may want to go back in and fiddle with the color some more, maybe not.  For now, it's still a "Yosemite View" just in another season.  The original photo that I did from life was taken in the Fall,  and the new edition could be more of a summertime view.  

Critique

Working on Yosemite View II in hopes of taking it to my critique group today.  We are traveling to Nevada City to El's new digs for our get together.  I am taking a couple of portraits I did in the Siegel workshop, and the two landscapes from the Kondos workshop.  Since I don't really have anything of my own ready, I am up at 5:30 to transform the Yosemite painting to a place where I am okay with taking it.

Here are the two portraits which I did in September:

Don

Richard

I don't think the two look alike and I can see the two guys that I did; however portraiture is very difficult and from my eye they look like I rendered them accurately...maybe not from somebody else's view.  I'll see what my critique-ers say today.  My passion is not portraiture, however doing the work and extending One's knowledge is always a goal.

Dream and Girlie Time

Gathering with two of my girls today to have a little lunch and then dream tend here at my house.  At night while our bodies re-energize, we have some moments of kind of organizing thoughts into coherence and those are our dreams.  If we become conscious enough of those thought processes, we can access those and then try to determine where we are with problems, issues, experiences and consciously tell our dream psyche where we want to go with the issue or our dream psyche can actually tell us where we need to go with the issue.

So off I go with my girlies.