Remembering to Breathe

So cleaning my art room today and feeling like Sister Golden Hair is on its way to becoming I am Woman. What could be better than gathering my thoughts about Sister Golden Hair, Never Been to Me, and I Am Woman(actually 3 of my most favorite songs in the world) and placing those emotions on a canvas?  Would women actually get it?  Do I care?  Should I care?  Most importantly I should not care about the outcome; after all, my art is about the process.

While I can say out loud that my art has always been about the process, telling a story and getting emotion down on the canvas; how can it be really since I have so much to remember:  rules of art, rules of color, my innermost feelings of color, my sarcastic and truly hispanic feelings about color, my just doing paintings with the color that I have left over because I have no money or energy to go buy new, and then there's the showing of the art after it is done and weathering the criticisms.  Actually criticisms are always positive, but an artist is always their worst critic and so they tend to think others will point out all the little bad things about a painting even before they've ever shown the piece anywhere.  So where are we?

Oh, so I am now at the place where I need to put all of my energy into my authentic self getting out from inside of me to the outside and then being able to paint that.  My plan is to paint for a while just getting paint and texture on the canvas, then when I am in the painter "zone" to actually open up my heart (that chakra in which my heart dwells) and let the woman emotions dribble up onto my shoulder and down my art and into my hand and then onto my brush.  Will I have to cry?  Will I have to be consciously unconscious?  I'll let you know.  I know that I will let my right brain take over and so possibly will I be painting with my left hand??

Ok, so I have wound myself up so tight just talking about it, I need to breathe now.  Taking my glass of vitamin water and gonna meditate outside on my wicker chair for a while...and remember the breathing.